I hate these moments. I'm cruising along through life, just doing my thing, then all of a sudden, WHAM! Clarity.
It's then that I can see what is always staring me in the face, but I so deftly avoid seeing. Oh, sure, deep down inside I know what's there. But denial is a powerful self-preservation tool.
Almost a year ago, a couple of friends began revealing to me the degraded state of their marriage. The husband went farther: he propositioned me after the wife had gone to bed. He suggested that we be friends with benefits.
For eight months he persisted. For eight months I demurred, denied, and squirmed my way out of ever doing anything. Sure, there was a drunken kiss I regret to this day. But I was so careful not to lead him on. I actually worried about his feelings. Unreal.
I wasn't particularly attracted to him. I always thought of him as my goofy neighbor. This man has never made a secret of the fact that he wants nothing more than to save his marriage. So what the hell does that make me? He professes to adore me and have nothing but the utmost respect for me, but how much respect could he have if I'm nothing but a plaything? Someone to fill the physical void left by his wife.
As to the clarity I first wrote of: I am so keenly aware that I was treated as little more than a whore he was trying hire.
See, clarity is a drag.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Techno-babble
First, let me say that this post is really just a test to see how well this blog manager for iPad works.
When I bought my Apple iPad I was immediately enamored and failed to notice some of the drawbacks. One of them being that I can easily update my blogs but for some stupid reason, I cannot post photos. Such a simple thing and so frustrating to be unable to do it!
As the commercial says: "There's an App for that!"
For a mere $2.99 I can manage all my blogs, post, and have PHOTOS! Supposedly. That's the purpose of this post. I need to test this wonderful app. So let's get started, shall we?
The posting process is simple so far... Type the blog entry as an email.
I am about to click the little camera icon up top to add a photo.
Since I posted about my new job at NOAA, let's add a photo from my recent business trip to Juneau, Alaska. Here I am hiking to the top of Mt. Roberts.
Wow, not bad. The photo is embedded in the email. I should try another...
This is a shot I took when I hiked to Mendenhall Glacier.
Now the true test. We must actually post this baby. Gonna hit save and cross my fingers. Hopefully, I will be reading this just like you are on my blog!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
When I bought my Apple iPad I was immediately enamored and failed to notice some of the drawbacks. One of them being that I can easily update my blogs but for some stupid reason, I cannot post photos. Such a simple thing and so frustrating to be unable to do it!
As the commercial says: "There's an App for that!"
For a mere $2.99 I can manage all my blogs, post, and have PHOTOS! Supposedly. That's the purpose of this post. I need to test this wonderful app. So let's get started, shall we?
The posting process is simple so far... Type the blog entry as an email.
I am about to click the little camera icon up top to add a photo.
Since I posted about my new job at NOAA, let's add a photo from my recent business trip to Juneau, Alaska. Here I am hiking to the top of Mt. Roberts.
Wow, not bad. The photo is embedded in the email. I should try another...
This is a shot I took when I hiked to Mendenhall Glacier.
Now the true test. We must actually post this baby. Gonna hit save and cross my fingers. Hopefully, I will be reading this just like you are on my blog!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Saturday, July 10, 2010
A Whole New World
As I was trying to create a new career by going back to school, a funny thing happened. I started to run out of money! (imagine that!?)
Faced with tuition, rent, and my last $10,000 in savings, I began looking in ernest for a new job. Just something I could live on, but not commit to, while I was finishing my degree. I considered Starbucks and applied for administrative assistant positions but made no progress.
It was January when I received an email from my friend, L, instructing me to send my resume to her husband, P, immediately. There was an opening at his office and they would help me get my foot in the door. We were way beyond Starbucks, now. P is in a power position at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). This job was through a federal government contractor, so I applied with IMSG and began the interview process at NOAA. I didn't land that job.
A few weeks later, P told me there was a job opening for which I am infinitely more qualified and that I should submit my resume for that position instead. I applied to be a Communications Specialist in the Office of Habitat Conservation, interviewed, waited anxiously, and finally landed the job.
But this was no "job". This, as it turns out, is an entire career. A career I really love.
Some of my infatuation, I'm sure, is the novelty of it all. I am so clearly in the honeymoon-phase of this career. However, even in the most stressful moments and after the longest days, I have such an intense feeling of accomplishment and pride in what I am doing.
It's not just the work, I like many of the people with whom I work.
I still don't miss radio or regret the decision to leave. And now with NOAA to fill my need for mental stimulation, I know that this was fate. I was meant to move on to this whole new world.
Faced with tuition, rent, and my last $10,000 in savings, I began looking in ernest for a new job. Just something I could live on, but not commit to, while I was finishing my degree. I considered Starbucks and applied for administrative assistant positions but made no progress.
It was January when I received an email from my friend, L, instructing me to send my resume to her husband, P, immediately. There was an opening at his office and they would help me get my foot in the door. We were way beyond Starbucks, now. P is in a power position at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). This job was through a federal government contractor, so I applied with IMSG and began the interview process at NOAA. I didn't land that job.A few weeks later, P told me there was a job opening for which I am infinitely more qualified and that I should submit my resume for that position instead. I applied to be a Communications Specialist in the Office of Habitat Conservation, interviewed, waited anxiously, and finally landed the job.
But this was no "job". This, as it turns out, is an entire career. A career I really love.
Some of my infatuation, I'm sure, is the novelty of it all. I am so clearly in the honeymoon-phase of this career. However, even in the most stressful moments and after the longest days, I have such an intense feeling of accomplishment and pride in what I am doing.
It's not just the work, I like many of the people with whom I work.
I still don't miss radio or regret the decision to leave. And now with NOAA to fill my need for mental stimulation, I know that this was fate. I was meant to move on to this whole new world.
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