Weighty Issues

I have these thoughts all the time. They all start with "Since I'm single, I should..."
Many of these thoughts include doing things that I have always believed would make me completely unappealing to the opposite sex. See the irony?

The one I have most often is, "Since I'm single, I should eat whatever I want and just go ahead and gain weight." Oddly, the only time I have ever really packed on the pounds is when I was in a committed relationship and living with a man for three years. We both got complacent and gained weight. A month after we broke up, I worked my ass of to lose it -- literally!
When I am single I think these types of thoughts a lot. My thought process usually starts with, "Hmm, I really want Chick-Fil-A for lunch, but I really shouldn't. Eh, why not? I won't gain that much weight. Maybe I'll start working out again. Although I doubt it. Who cares if I gain weight anyway? I'm single. No one wants me while I'm thin anyway; I may as well just eat what I like and gain the weight. Then maybe I'd understand why I don't have a man. Besides, there are many overweight women who fall in love and get married. Maybe that's me?"
It doesn't stop there. I go down this road with other areas of my personal appearance as well. Whenever I cut my hair short I reason with myself, "Men LOVE long hair. But they aren't the ones blowdrying it and dealing with it every day. Plus, many women with short hair attract men and get married. (Seeing a pattern?)
Changing my hair from blonde to dark after 16 years was a huge step. I did take the plunge and go auburn but I recently starting thinking about blonding-up again. Do you think more blondes or brunettes get married? Or...
"Perhaps I'll go out in sweats and without make-up just this once. It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone at Publix. Many women who go without make-up get married eventually." Ok, that one is bullshit.

I go out in sweats and without make-up all the time.

Playing this little game with myself cannot be healthy. Is this some sort of eating disorder?
I do care about my own appearance but I think it is purely tied to getting attention from men. And as I age, I get less and less of that attention whether or I'm thin or not. I get so tired of worrying about what other people think. At what age do we finally learn to accept our physical selves? Does body image continue to dog us into our golden years? Perhaps I'll start eating and hope for a heart attack instead.