A Stranger Among Us

Many years ago, just after my mother passed away, my whole family scattered across the country. Frankly, we were barely able to tolerate each other and my mother was the glue that held us together. Without her, there was no reason whatsoever to be tortured by the company of our relatives ever again.
Because I have no real family to visit on holidays, I'm often invited to spend them with families of friends or the man I'm dating at the time. So, I have spent the majority of my holidays with strangers for the last 17 years. As a result, holidays hold no real special meaning to me anymore.
When people ask me what I'm doing for Thanksgiving and I say that I have no special plans other than relaxing at home, I am always met with a look of pity and an invitation to join them and their respective families for dinner. I'm always grateful for the kind offers but hate the position in which it puts me. Not only does it not bother me to be alone and do little or nothing on Thanksgiving, but it does actually bother me to spend a day with strangers and struggle for several hours to try to fit in.
I realize that this is going to come off a little bitchy and I'll sound like an ingrate, but I feel the need to tell the truth about the single gal in the strangers' homes.

1. It's not you, it's me. Please understand that when we turn down your kind offer, it's not an invitation for you to pressure us! We didn't say no because we were afraid to make more work for you or make you feel "put out." We are truly saying no because it's really what we want!

2. Alone Again, Naturally. Some of us really enjoy time to ourselves and sometimes a holiday is the only way we get some of that precious downtime. Just because spending a day alone may make you sad or lonely doesn't mean we all feel that way. In some ways, that is a holiday from the rest of our crowded, busy lives.

3. We Are (not) Family. As lovely as it may be to get together with family for Thanksgiving, it is actually very difficult for non-family guests. We are not only on our very best behavior and being personality plus but we are also (sometimes) dealing with the sadness of being the outsider. Some may miss being with their families and trying to smile and hide it is tough work!

It is important to note that none of this applies if the single gal in question is being invited to spend her first holiday with a boyfriend's family. That is a very special step in a relationship and that invitation will rarely be turned down!
Happy Thanksgiving!