Like, What's Your Problem?

I've wanted to be a writer for a long time. At least ten years. For the first five years I was in my own head thinking about how many great stories I could cull from my amazing life experiences. In the next five I started writing a novel. Well, writing off and on. Ironically, life is my inspiration to write but life keeps getting in the way of finishing my first book.
I'm about one-third finished just writing the story. I still need to go back in and flesh out the characters and add details and descriptions. I think about it every single day. I even think about it when I'm laying on the couch doing absolutely nothing. That's right, I lay there doing nothing when I could be writing my book. What the hell is my problem?
Sometimes I am just too tired from getting up at 4 AM and dealing with the everyday B.S. that comes with my job. But lately, I've been psyching myself out. I read a lot of books and I'm always comparing myself to other authors. I'm convinced that no one will want to publish my work or if they do, it will be in the half-off bin in a week.
I've rethought my subject a hundred times. I've tried to come up with a story I like better or that would be more marketable. I even started another book -- this time a non-fiction -- in the hopes of attracting a different audience. Really I've just found every reason not to pursue the dream of becoming a published author. And I've conveniently avoided all the rejection that comes along with submitting my work as well.

How do you stay motivated? How do you write when you really just don't feel like it? Do other writers go through this? I've heard about writer's block but what about writer's lazy-ass-wanna-lay-on-the-couch-and-watch-The-Young-and-the-Restless?